Colin's Story

For my daughters, I wrote their "birth story" shortly after they were born. A birth is such an incredible event, I wanted to be able to remember all the little details (good and bad)! Writing it all down would allow me the ability to look back at the "birth" day and remember it all and also would allow my children to be able to read what it was like for me when they were all grown up and expecting their children!

So... this is Colin's birth story....

Colin was a planned c-section for April 17th, 11 days before my due date. I had not yet had a c-section without labor and was almost expecting my water to break prior to the 17th. However, the morning of the 17th came and all was going as planned. I made breakfast for the girls and then my mom arrived at the house to watch the girls while Nick and I headed out for the hospital. It was so bizarre to be walking into the hospital for our appointment for the baby to born. All seemed to go very smooth. I got checked in and all the proper IV's started and before we knew it, it was time to start. I had been very nervous about getting the spinal and at the last moment, the Dr let Nick come in with me for the entire process. That was so great for me and Nick was impressed as well. The curtain was set very low so Nick could watch the entire procedure and he was really into it. Outside of a small wave of nausea when the surgery first started, I really felt very good during it. Colin arrived at 10:34am and immediately cried. It was such an awesome sound and intense emotions immediately took over. Even though he was my 3rd baby, I still cried. He looked great as they cleaned him up. Shortly after he was born, Colin and Nick left the OR for the recovery room. It all seemed to go so quick and so smooth!

Probably about 10 min. later, once they were done getting me all sown and cleaned up, I was wheeled out to the recovery room. I remember seeing Colin in Nick's arms. He was no longer screaming and was all cozy in a blanket... but the first words out of my mouth were, "Doesn't he look blue?" This is when it all went downhill. The nurse didn't seem to think much of his color and so I got situated in the recovery room and Nick continued to hold him. I them remember saying, "He looks grey." At that point, the nurse went over to him and told us she just thought he was a pale kid and that was his tone. Even one of the Doctors said he just had a pale tone. A few minutes later, Nick was handing him to me for me to hold Colin for the first time and he said to me, "I think he is cold." I felt him and he did seem cold. I told the nurse again I was concerned about his color and temperature. At this point, she took him down to the special care nursery. Nick went with him and I was left in the recovery room with the oddest, loneliest and scary feeling. The mid-wife that was with me was making small talk and trying to make me not nervous. Nick later told me that when Colin arrived in the special care nursery and was hooked up to them monitors, his oxygen level was at 47%! All I have to say... is that mother's instinct should be listened to!!

The next 15 minutes or so was very weird. I wanted Nick to come back and be with me, but I wanted him to be with Colin. I tried to figure out how to get my mom there, so I could have someone with me. Nick did return and gave me the update on Colin that he was breathing fast and that they were watching him. He got on the phone to figure out a plan for the girls so that my mom could get to the hospital. I was feeling so empty... having not held Colin and only feeling like I saw him for a couple minutes - yet all these fears were running through my head. I really tried to be positive and tell myself that they were just being over protective. Once I was ready to be moved to my room, I was wheeled by the special care nursery and I could look at Colin across the room. Again, very weird and surreal that I was not with my newborn.

The next 10 hours were a blur. So weird to have the baby out, be sitting in the post par tum unit of the hospital, but not have a baby with me! I could not even try and get out of bed until 5pm and so I was not able to see Colin. Nick was back and forth and would take pictures of him and then I would look at the camera to see Colin. The girls and my parents did come and they got to see Colin in the nursery. At this point, Colin was under and oxygen tent giving him extra oxygen. He had an IV line for fluids, but was not able to eat. A pediatrician came and saw him and told us that it was likely due to fluid in his lungs and should resolve in 12 - 48 hours.

At 5pm, and then again about every hour... I tried to get out of bed to go see Colin, but my blood pressure was too low and I would immediately feel lightheaded and sick. The nurses were great, always willing to let me try! Around 10:30pm, I was able to get into a wheel chair and go down to the special care nursery and look at Colin. Again, the most bizarre, sad feeling to see him there struggling to breath and look so uncomfortable, yet I can't pick him up and hold him. Throughout the night, I was able to get back to see him a couple more times.

On friday morning, the drs did a repeat x-ray of his lungs and assessed him. It was then, that they decided that Colin was getting worse, not better and that he needed more support than they felt comfortable giving him there and he would be transferred to Albany Med. This all happened so fast and was so scary. My mind was racing about could I go, what would we do with the girls, would insurance cover this, how long would he have to be there, could he eat, would I be able to nurse him, would he be ok, how would I explain this to the girls, on and on... My dr came and saw me and gave me the choice of discharging me or trying to transfer me to Albany Med. I did not feel ready to be discharged (I had only walked for the first time 6 hours before!), yet I was not wanting to be in Glens Falls with Colin in Albany. Luckily, they figured out how to get me transferred and shortly there after... Colin's team from Albany Med arrived to talk with us about his care. The NP had to go over all these possible complications in us signing a release... talk about scary! I felt like I was signing away his life, but knew in the back of my head, they had to go over these. Colin got hooked up to CPAP before he left and we got to see him in the incubator as he was getting wheeled off to the ambulance. It was awful... he had this odd thing coming out of his nose and was foaming (just his spit) at the mouth. Needless to say, I was a mess.

Once at Albany Med, I knew that Colin was in the best place for him. That Friday was really emotional. Knowing that he was in the best care, but not knowing how he was going to be and just feeling so overwhelmed because this is NOT what is suppose to happen with full term babies. I was having some super guilt about what I must have done wrong... did I schedule the c-section too early?? Late Friday night, they started talking to us about possibly having to intubate Colin. They were concerned about how fast he was still having to breath, even with the CPAP support. Super scary... yet still surreal.

The staff at the NICU were awesome. Not only were they great with Colin and his needs, but they really looked out for us too. They kept us in the medical loop about his progress and went above and beyond to let us hold him as much as possible. Because of his IV line into his umbilical cord, we had to be really careful in holding him... but we were able to do that several times a day, even with the CPAP on.

He is a strong guy... He didn't need to be intubated. He continued to struggle, but was not tiring out. They were impressed. The nurse kept calling him a little tiger! He didn't like all his wires and would pull at them. I don't think they were use to a baby so big with so much energy!

The next 3 days were more of the same. He continued with all the same support, but they were all very positive that as soon as he turned his corner (and didn't know when that would be), he would get better quick. That is exactly what happened.... Monday night they took him off CPAP, about an hour later, he nursed for the 1st time and by tuesday afternoon he was off everything! By Wednesday at noontime, we were on the road home and Colin had received a clean bill of health. So strange to have such a sick baby, and have him completely healthy so quick! Kids are resilient, huh!

This experience made me realize in such a big way, how blessed we are. We felt so fortunate as we were in the hospital and as we looked around at the other babies who had such a struggle in front of them. I felt so blessed and fortunate to have been able to have Nick with me and at Colin's side. I was so touched by everyone's words of support and prayers of good wishes. I was so impressed by my parents and Nick's mom who stepped up and did whatever we needed. Thank you to my family and friends.... Welcome to the Giumarra world , Colin!