Good Marriages come from Good Friends.

Beware... before you read further, you must understand that I can be a bit of an emotional sap. I tend to be a little cheesy and every now and again, have the need to be a little touchy/ feely or owey/ gooey in sharing my feelings... so hear goes.

This past weekend, I was squeezing in a short run on the treadmill at the Y. To pass the time, I was watching the weekend version of the Today show. As valentines day was approaching, they were doing a segment on "What makes a marriage strong." They interviewed a group of 6 women, who between them had over 235 years of marriage experience to share and give the advice of what has made their own marriages last and be so strong.

They began to share their story.... they had all become friends when they were all newly married over 30 years prior and started a book club together. They agreed to meet 2x/ month to discuss their books, but soon realized that while out at "Book Club," they were not really talking about their books, but rather were talking about their husbands, their children, their stresses, their worries. Each one of them came to value this time as their sanctuary and realized that it gave them the support and emotional escape that they all needed in their lives. Women are naturally social people and tend to need to talk and vent about their feelings. Men, on the other hand, don't need this to the same extend of their spouses. So, rather than feeling un-heard or not listened to at home, these women turned to one another for that and in turn felt stronger and more powerful in their relationships at home.

The Today show then talked to the husbands... almost all of them talked about how this group had become like a family to one another. All of their children had grown up together - not necessarily as best friends, but as a special support to one another and they all knew they could lean on each other. The husband's believed that the relationship their wives had with one another allowed them to be a more passionate and caring spouse. As the group became older and faced disease and illness, there was a peace among them that showed them; should something terrible happen to one of us, our immediate family would be ok, because they had this group of friends.

(Warning... her is the sappy part) With goose bumps up my arms and tears in my eyes, I realized how truly lucky I am. I have this group (and it even began as a book club), my husband has this group and so do my children. I need these relationships with these women - to vent to, to listen to, to give advice about parenting, to talk through struggles with their spouses and to just be a friend to. I know that I learn from them regularly and hope that they feel a similar support to me.

Plus - it's nice to have the "research" from the Today show to help prove to our husbands that we need this time out together and that "Book Club" is so that we can have a healthier marriage at home!

Members of the Book Club and husbands

the children of the book club on our Annual Camping Trip.